Here’s a thought piece with a difference, helping you tick your way to a new year’s resolution!
I’ve seen plenty of guidance from coaches and thought leaders around how to maintain a new year’s resolution, but very few seem to present it succinctly or make their guidance easy to use. I suppose it wouldn’t make for a very good (or long) book, or maybe for some it just feels too direct and lacking in explanation. Well, I love a good concise list, and accepting that we’re all sense-making organisms that mostly seek to create structure out of chaos, I’m assuming you love a good list too; enough to simply trust me and forgo the complex explanations in a bid to simply get things done.
Borrowing heavily from James Clear’s ‘Atomic Habits’, as well as a few ideas from Stephen Covey’s ‘Seven habits of highly effective people’, and a little foundational CBT theory from Albert Ellis, I’ve drawn up a list of quick tasks (a bit of a break from the relational, client-led norm), with tick boxes and templates. I’ve not explained the theory; the three books I’ve linked to are a good place to start if you’re interested, or if reading is part of your 2022 resolution. Instead, I simply offer here a list of executable actions to set you on a path towards realising the change you desire. Where that path goes is entirely up to you.
If you follow these action items to the letter (it’s long, I know, but all positive change requires investment), you will bring about the change you want to see in yourself, for 2022 and thereafter. The foundational process will take you about four hours. That’s less time than the extended edition of The Return of the King! I know it’s a great movie, but doing this could change your life forever. Surely that’s worth every minute and then some.
Here are my 25 steps to laying the foundations for lasting change.
Print out the abridged, tick-friendly list attached below, and place it somewhere visible.
Open up a document on your computer, or on a notepad, entitled, ‘The change I want to see in 2022’.
Take 10 minutes to capture your thoughts on the change you want to realise, and why.
Write down the three things that are driving you to want to bring about this change.
Take a day, or at least a couple of hours to allow these thoughts to percolate. What are the assumptions you’re making that led you to define your motivations the way you have? Are your assumptions rational and true?
Come back to your writing. When you consider what you’ve written, do your motivations align with your broader life philosophy? More importantly, do you believe the drivers to be healthy and constructive? If not, take a few more minutes to define drivers that are.
Take 15 minutes to reshape your words into a new expression; what kind of person do you need to become to realise the change you desire? Do you like the sound of this person? If not, take a little more time to refine your answer until you have a description of an individual that inspires you.
List three people you know well who are similar to the person described above.
Write down three actions you can take that would lead to your spending more time with these people. Highlight your favourite action, make a date and get it in the diary.
Now highlight the one person you’d feel most comfortable sharing your journey with. They may be the same person and will become your sponsor.
Kicking off another paragraph, and accepting that, in order to create the change you’re after you’ll need to work on it incrementally, write down what you want to stop doing, or what you want to start doing, and at what frequency, to take you towards your vision of who you want to become? What new habit are you looking to establish? (Skip the next four steps if you’re not looking to stop doing something)
If you’re looking to stop something, capture three activities you’d like to do instead and highlight the one that excites you most and is best aligned with the identity you desire.
Write down three ways that could change your environment to make existing triggers (cues) for the habit you want to stop less visible, or even invisible. Schedule some time to make these changes to your environment.
Write down three truths that make doing it less attractive or even disgusting to you, and then edit these into three benefits of ending the habit.
Write down the three things you could do to make it harder (less accessible) for you to do the habit you want to end. Schedule time to bring about these changes.
Now try to define your new habit as something that can easily be done in two minutes, or the shortest time possible. Completing it repeatedly should be well within your comfort zone. You can extend over time.
How might you develop this new habit as it becomes too comfortable, or even boring. Write down three ideas on how you might extend the habit gradually as your abilities and motivations develop?
Write down three ways you could create little cues/triggers within your environment that will remind you of the new habit you’re forming. Schedule a time to implement.
What could you do to develop a feeling of excitement and anticipation around the habit? Write down three ways to make the idea of carrying out the new habit more attractive and desirable.
Now write three ways that make the new habit easier (more accessible) to do, and schedule some time to implement.
Think of three ways in which you could reward yourself for having carried out the new habit, each time or after a week or a month, but no longer. If you have a willing sponsor, perhaps they’ll commit to rewarding you. Write this down.
Are there things you already do regularly and automatically (eg. brushing your teeth), at a similar frequency to the habit you're aiming to establish? Write three of them down. Highlight the one that you enjoy the most. Stack your new habit on top of this (to do immediately after - the frequencies must match).
Now build yourself a ‘habit tracker’. Make it physical. Something that allows you to chalk up each time you complete your desired action. Whether it’s an abacus and you slide the beads, or a page of boxes to be ticked, or a glass of marbles or paper clips that you move from one jar to another, create a way of chalking up completing the action as many times as are required to fill out the year.
Now write your new habit contract. I’ve created a template for your contract below. Use all the answers you’ve provided in the document you created above. You’ve also chosen your sponsor, so make the habit contract out to them and have them sign it.
Finally, find a solution for keeping a simple 2 minute ‘Change Journal’. Each day, ask, ‘what lessons have I learned today on my journey to realising my change?’ Don’t allow any self-criticism. Simply write down neutral observations of what happened, and what you could choose to do differently in future to help you on your journey. Only spend two minutes a day on this activity, but keep the journal close to hand. Schedule a 20 minute session each fortnight to review your thoughts.
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